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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24722269">Letters from my heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daily_Scenarios/pseuds/Daily_Scenarios'>Daily_Scenarios</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Emmerdale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Canon, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, eventual reunion 3.0, writing letters</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:35:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,385</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24722269</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daily_Scenarios/pseuds/Daily_Scenarios</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron does write back and asks Robert to keep in touch. <br/>Will he?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>96</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Robert, </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>I don't know what to say really. This was never my thing, but I had to write because you need to know how much it meant to hear all this. To...understand. I'm not saying it was easy when you just cut me out, but at least now I know why. Living in doubt, it was the worst past few months in my life.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>I'm so glad to know you're well, you probably know with everything's going on, the possibility of this virus affecting you... it got me concerned from time to time. Knowing that you're alright, it means a lot. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>I know it must have been hard, to write after all this time. Sometimes it didn't feel long, but there are days when I think it's been years already. And you can't expect me not to reply. You can't expect me not to tell you that now more than ever everything reminds me of you. We're in lockdown and there's only so much thing you can do with your time. My head goes to places, places I thought I locked away. And you're always there. Waiting. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>You asked if I could forgive you. You can't ask me that. You broke my heart and you want me to just accept it and move on? If you really mean all those things you wrote down in your letter, you should know how I feel. You should know without the letter. You should just know. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>I know it's hard for you, and I probably don't know everything about how you are coping with this, but I know it's not easy. So I'm gonna say this one more time. Please let me help. If nothing more, as a friend. Because... the truth is, I'd rather live a life where I could be your friend, than one where we're not talking. I can't bare that Robert. It's too hard. And I know you feel the same. You wouldn't have sent that letter to me otherwise. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Let me be there for you. If you felt like I needed to hear all those things you said, then it's only fair I say something in return. You know how I feel about you. I love you. I will always love you. You letting me go won't change that. Ever. You know I'm not joking, you know me that much.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I know you need to hear this because god knows I hope I'm not alone with it: I miss you. Even our stupid fights. I miss all of it. And I'd give anything to have you here shouting at me because I made the pasta the wrong way. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>I know you said you let me go. I know why you did it, now I understand. But you need to understand something as well. I'm not ready to let you go. I'll never be ready. When you shut me out, it felt like you were punishing me for loving you. Please stop punishing me, Robert. How I feel won't change. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Even if not right now, but just promise me this: you'll get help if you feel like it's too much. Even if it's not from me. I just want you to look after yourself. Don't suffer alone, you don't deserve it. I know you're probably shaking your head now, but believe me. I want you to know that you're not alone, and if you ever feel like you are, just remember that someone's sitting on your side of the bed, thinking about you every night.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>So, if you ever wanna talk, just get help, and if you feel like I worth your time, write to me.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Yours, always</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Aaron</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He stared at the letter for minutes. He had the urge to tore it apart, to bin it... like he did with the previous 12. He knew writing down how he felt wasn't easy, but he never imagined it'd be like this. He sniffed after a teardrop landed on the paper. He didn't even realize that he was crying. He didn't exactly bury his feelings but that letter.... that bloody letter brought it all back, and Aaron couldn't have been happier... well happy is not the right word... he was relieved. Relieved to know that Robert was okay, to hear from him. He was so hurt when Vic got that letter and there was no mention of him like he didn't exist. That almost cut too deep, and ironically this letter, even if it brought back pain, it also made him feel alive somehow.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He knew he couldn't write another one, there were no thoughts left in his head, it was all a chaos. He wasn't sure the letter would even make sense, he just hoped Robert would read it, and <em>know.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Because he had to, right? He had to know. Aaron took a deep breath and before he could change his mind he got the letter in an envelope, scribbled down the address with shaking hands, then without thinking he stood up, wiped his eyes, and marched out the door to post it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Aaron, </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>How can you honestly believe you're not worth my time? It hurts even just the thought that you'd think that. My letter wasn't clear enough? You said you know why I had to do it. You said you understand. Please don't make this any harder. I want to keep that promise I made. To give you the best life there is. Because that's what you deserve. You deserve everything. And you definitely deserve more than a husband in prison for the rest of his life. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Aaron please, just let it go. It's not gonna be hard forever. Think about your family. They'll always gonna be there for you. Let them in. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Go out, make friends... and if you wanna do me a favour, just move forward. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You know, </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Robert</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>That's it?</em> He thought to himself. Is that all he's gonna say? Aaron sat there in the bedroom, afraid if he'd go out he might see Cain, and he wasn't in the mood for questions. He knew Liv would leave him alone, she had her own little world, and Aaron was fine with that. He just wanted to be alone with his thoughts, and right now he wanted to be mad at Robert. For still thinking like that. He honestly won't accept anything from Aaron and that hurt. What was he supposed to do now? Start begging? He considered it... for a while. He wanted to scream, but he couldn't. The tears kept flowing though. He started it and now he couldn't stop. Not that he tried very hard. </p>
<p>He kept re-reading the letter, over and over again. He tried to make some kind of sense of it. And even though he wanted to be angry at Robert, he knew that Robert did slip up. He let his guard down for a second and he probably didn't even realize how much that meant for Aaron. </p>
<p>He missed Robert calling himself his husband. Technically they were still married, and even though he didn't feel like it for a long time, this tiny little word somehow gave him hope again. Because this proved that Robert was hanging on as well. Even if only by a thread, even if he didn't know it himself. He clung to the last resort, and as weird as that sounded, it made Aaron chuckle. </p>
<p>Robert didn't think he'd leave this without a reply, right? Without thinking, he got a notebook from his nightstand, before his eyes caught something safely tucked in the bottom half of the open shelf. A picture. From the past. When they were truly happy without a care. He reached over as he lay on the bed, flicking the picture to see what he knew was on the other side. A note. A testament. Something that could've been his future, but now seemed like a daydream. With Robert's neat handwriting a simple word that meant a thousand more. <em>Family.</em> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Aaron smiled softly looking at himself, Robert, and Seb smiling into the camera. He remembered Liv taking the picture when they tried to occupy Seb with basically anything. Being the centre of the attention did the trick. Aaron remembered how they put him to bed afterwards, and how they talked about expanding the family. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>And now Robert was talking about it, like all of this meant nothing. He couldn't let this happen. This cannot be his reality. Robert needed to see that. </p>
<p>He knew what he had to do. Because letting go wasn't an option. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He grabbed the paper and started scribbling down his answer...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strike>
    <em>YOU SELFISH PRICK!</em>
  </strike>
</p>
<p>
  <strike>
    <em>How dare you!</em>
  </strike>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Robert,</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>surprise! inspiration struck, I know it1s short but I think it fits for the whole style of this fic.</p>
<p>enjoy, and comment!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Robert, </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You can try to push me away, but sooner or later you'll realize that it won't work. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I hope you also got that picture I sent with this. You should remember that. What we were. What we still are - despite everything. A family. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And you can't expect me to believe that you're not thinking about those days. Because I do. A lot. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I'm not giving up, and I'm sure you know by now but I won't sign those divorce papers either. Call Clive if you don't believe me. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You are my husband, and until your last letter, I thought you forgot that. But you didn't. That's what matters.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You said I should move forward. I will, but you have to be there with me. There's no other way.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Aaron</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"What are ya doing?" - asked Cain suddenly. It startled Aaron. He's already written the letter but he wanted to check one more time. Make sure Robert could read it. Aaron never had a neat handwriting, and he wanted Robert to understand what he's saying. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Nothing." - he shrugged trying to cover the whole charade up by pretending to read a newspaper.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You never read those before." - pointed out Cain while he got a beer from the fridge. - "Want one?" </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"No. My head's gonna explode. I think I go up."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You don't fancy a game then?" - he asked - "On that thing." - he added pointing to the telly. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Not today. I can't beat Liv's score anyway." - he shrugged - "She's way better than all of us combined. But don't tell her I said that." - he said with a fake smile, wanting to get out of this situation as soon as possible. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Aaron." - he heard his uncle calling out his name. He turned around to look at him. - "If you had a problem you'd tell me, right?" </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Of course." - he said thinking about how absurd this is. A couple of days ago it was him who tried to get Cain talking about his feelings. Now he wants to do the same to him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"So... do you?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"No, I'm just tired."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Why? You're hardly doing anything." - scoffed Cain. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yeah, and it does my head in.... just like you now." - he said leaving him there. How he managed to sneak the letter in his pocket, he had no idea about, but he was extremely grateful for it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He wasn't weird, was he? Cain won't suspect a thing.... right? The more he told himself the more he believed it. Right now he couldn't deal with family as well. His priority was to keep Robert talking... well writing. He was pretty sure this picture will do the trick. Robert must miss Seb like crazy. Without any contact and information, this tiny piece of paper could be all he needs right now. Aaron hoped to god he was right. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I already know what's gonna be in the next chapter so expect it tomorrow.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Aaron,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Why are you doing this? Is this some kind of revenge because I ended up here? Do you have any idea what your words do to me? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You make this harder than it should be. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I don't want this for you. It's not a life. It's not what I promised!</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Please, please, just stop.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It's like you make me give you up all over again. It was hard enough for the first time...</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Let me go.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Robert</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Aaron felt anger. He wanted to smash Robert's head to a wall to finally make him understand. <em>'It's not what I promised'</em>. What a load of bullshit. How can Aaron live any kind of future knowing that Robert is there, with all those emotions.... emotions he can't let out? Why can't he see that for Aaron it's not a hardship? He'd do so much more if Robert would let him. </p>
<p>He tried not to let the tears fall onto the paper as he wrote down maybe his shortest answer to this day. He had one chance, and he knew it. They were going round in circles and Aaron feared he might lose Robert for good. He couldn't afford that. So he did the only thing he knew might get a response from Robert. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Robert,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I don't wanna torture you, or myself for that matter. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Here's what I offer: let me visit you, and I sign the divorce papers. That's what you want innit? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Let me see you, talk to you, just one last time, then I won't write again. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Yours always,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Aaron. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If this won't do the trick, then he'd be really out of his depth. But he hoped. He hoped that Robert will be desperate enough to say yes because that way he can see him. And he wouldn't miss the opportunity to change his mind in person. He'd do everything. And more. All he needs to do is, post the letter, then wait. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Oi!" - shouted Chas on her way to David's when he saw Cain stepping out.</p>
<p><br/>"What?" - barked Cain. He saw her from the corner of his eyes but his sister definitely startled him.</p>
<p><br/>"What's up with Aaron?" - she asked worrying.</p>
<p><br/>"Why?"</p>
<p><br/>"He barely said 2 words last night on the phone."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"And?" - asked Cain. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"And... I'm worried." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You call us every evening, what would he suppose to say?" - he scoffed. - "Every day's the same. He did exactly the same as yesterday... and the day before. Stop patronizing him."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm not." - whined Chas - "But he sounded ...I don't know... off."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"So? It's Aaron. He was never the chatting type, was he?" - said Cain trying to ease Chas's mind. He noticed the change in Aaron as well and he knew something was up, but he knew better than to drop his nephew right in it. They all knew what Chas could be like. </p>
<p><br/>"Just...will you keep an eye on him?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Not like I have anywhere to go." - he said sarcastically. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Woah you're a real help!"</p>
<p><br/>"Fine."  - he sighed knowing it's better to just go with it. - "I'll do it. Can I go now?" - Chas nodded and let Cain finally continue walking towards the Mill. As soon as the door closed behind Chas, Cain felt relieved... for a short amount of time. He knew his sister could be ... pushing. Especially when it came to Aaron, but he couldn't deny that she was right this time. He knew as well. The difference is, he guessed the reason, he just didn't tell anyone. Not even Aaron. Because the truth is, he saw a couple of crumpled letters in the bin, and his eyes caught the opening line. Of course, it was Robert. But Cain knew better than to confront Aaron. Not yet. He wanted to give him a bit of time because whatever this was, Aaron obviously needed to sort it out himself. Without prying eyes watching his every move. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I think this little fic is coming to its end soon. </p>
<p>stay tuned though!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Robert went radio silent. What now?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I know." - said Cain casually one morning. Aaron wasn't grumpier than usual, but the silence did Cain's head in. They were just existing in that house, and after Aaron forced him to actually think about his own problems... he had to return the favor. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You what?" - said Aaron slurping his coffee.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I know...about the letter. The one you wrote to 'im." - he said not daring to look at him...at first. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"What are you tal..." - tried Aaron while he was glad Cain only knew about 1 letter. Imagine if he'd know the rest...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Let's not try to make a mug of me. I'm not Chas, I won't pry, I just wanted you to know, that I know." - he shrugged trying to make it cool. - "And your mother suspects something is up."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You told her..."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"No." - said Cain interrupting him. - "I told her I keep an eye out." - he said which made Aaron roll his eyes. - "Like there was anything else I could've said."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Okay that's.... okay." - said Aaron after he couldn't come up with a decent reply. He knew exactly how nagging his mother could be. - "How long have you known?" - he asked out of curiosity.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"A while, and I saw all those drafts in the bin." - he said making Aaron curse himself for not paying more attention. - "So... how long have you been waiting?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"What?"- asked Aaron not following. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"His reply. How long have you been waiting for it?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"A while." - he sighed. He didn't wanna think about it that he should've got an answer 3 weeks ago. He'd never give up, but this waiting did break him a little. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"So you're talking now?"- asked Cain trying to know more. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Look, if you just want to report to mum..."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"No, I just want you to do the same thing I did... eventually. Talk about stuff. You were right... with Moira. I was in denial. But I can't stop thinking. Me brain just goes on and on. I bet it's the same with you. Sugden is still under your skin."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"It's not that I didn't try to get rid." - he figured it'd be pointless to deny it. It wasn't a secret how much he loved Robert... still. If there's anything this lockdown showed him it's the fact that Robert still owned his heart. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"But it didn't work.... and even if it did... you'd be still writing to him as soon as you get a chance."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"No that..."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"It's me you're talking to." - scoffed Cain. - "I understand." - he told him and Aaron just nodded.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"He still thinks it's for the best... for me."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"What? To cut you out?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yeah, he figures I deserve a fresh start. But what does he deserve? He doesn't deserve some kind of happiness?" - he asked trying not to get too emotional. He wasn't sure he could do it, to be honest. - "And why does he think I want any kind of future without him?" - he asked more to himself. Cain realized that as well. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"What did he say exactly?" - he asked focusing on his nephew. The papers could wait. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"It's always the same, I'm so tired of it... but I can't let go. I just can't." - he said to Cain wiping his eyes - "I told him I'll sign the divorce papers if he lets me visit." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I thought you already signed them." - said Cain surprised. This was new information although it wasn't that much of a shock.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I... I couldn't. I told me mum... and everyone that I did. I knew she would've kept me nagging. But I couldn't do it." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You do know there's still a pandemic though. They won't let you in for a visit for a while." - said Cain. Aaron did realize this as well.... but only after he sent the letter. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yeah, I figured... but I've already posted the letter by then. It doesn't even matter, I just wanna keep him talking. Cain, I can't let him go now." - he said and Cain knew he wouldn't change his mind. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Well, it's no surprise really. Not to me." - he said before they all went silent. - "If it feels right, do it. If it gets too hard, stop." - he said making Aaron laugh.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Thanks."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm not your mother, I won't rub my nose in it. But if you wanna talk..."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yeah, I know."- he nodded - "Cain?"- he asked waiting for him to look at him. - "Don't say a word to anyone... especially not to Liv." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me."- he said before he stood up leaving Aaron on his own. Now all he had to do was waiting for that letter....that letter he hoped he'd get. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I wanted to get something done for you guys, so I hope you're gonna enjoy it. </p>
<p>The next chapter will be slightly different, but I think it's gonna be interesting. You'll see</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Robert is fighting with his own demons</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"What's up with ya?"- asked Bill. Robert was supposed to eat but his mind was elsewhere. He forgot for a minute where he was and that probably it's not the best idea to daydream in the middle of the prison canteen... but it was too late now. Bill saw it, and if Bill had a question, you had to answer. He wasn't that sort of a guy who would be okay with a shrug as a response. He was tough, life imprisonment, murder, that's why Robert got on well with him. Bill chose his "company" well and being in his circle made things bearable for Robert. He knew he couldn't fuck it up. He had to play his part.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You what?" - he asked thinking about a lie he could spin. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You're sitting here like someone died." - he laughed, then his face went blank - "You had bad news?" - he asked and Robert had to go with it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yeah.. my sister wrote. It's erm... our auntie Val. We were close when I was a kid. It just got me by surprise." - he said with ease. Val wouldn't be mad, she'd want to help Robert in this situation, and in prison, you learn it pretty quick that if you want to be a good liar you have to tell half-truths. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Shit, man I'm sorry. Tell ya what. Later we're gonna play some ball. You can be on my team. To cheer you up."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Erm, thanks, yeah that's great." - It wasn't, but he had to sound convincing. Bill seemed to buy it and in a matter of seconds, he was off. </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>It was later that day, as he sat behind his desk in his cell when another familiar face disturbed his thoughts. He was still trying to write something for Aaron, but the words didn't come. </p>
<p>"What's up man?" - asked Peter. He was harmless, he reminded Robert of Adam. The same attitude, the same stupid look on his face, they could've been brothers for all Robert knew. - "Writing to the missus?" - he asked raising his eyebrows trying to get an answer out of him. Robert had the habit of addressing Aaron as the final touch, before he sealed the envelope, so even if Peter... or anybody else wanted to pry they couldn't tell who he was writing to. Robert was smart and he listened to people when they were telling stories. He picked up a few things over the months. Knowledge, that could be useful in the future. </p>
<p>"Something like that." - he said quietly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Ah, want some help?" - asked Peter but he didn't wait for Robert's answer, he got himself seated on Robert's bed, with his hands behind his head. - "Okay, what's she called?" - he asked and Robert wasn't ready for this kind of conversation. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm not telling you that." - he said trying to make it funny by laughing it off.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Come on don't be shy. Mine is Tina." - he sighed - "She's amazing. She's always visiting, well... not now obviously, but she said she'd wait for me."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You'll be out next year. It's easy for you.'</p>
<p> </p>
<p>'Why? Yours didn't wait?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"It's not..." - he sighed realizing he had to say something - "I didn't want that life... for either of us really." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You pushed her away? Ahh, man are you crazy? Most of the guys here would kill for a bird who'd be willing to wait. To visit... "</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yeah well, I am an idiot."- he said hoping this would be the end of it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Okay, let's see what you've got." - said Peter and before Robert could stop him he snatched his letter. - "Khmm"- he said clearing his throat - "Dear... " - he started reading out - "Really? You won't write her name?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Give it back!"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Okay, your business." - said Peter continue reading it - "<strike>If you mean it.</strike> <strike>Stop playing games.</strike> <strike>Why? "</strike> - he read all the parts Robert crossed out. - "Woah, you weren't kidding this is shit man. You need to get your act together." - he laughed tossing it back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Cheers. Any other advice?" - he asked sarcastically. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yeah, whatever you do, don't shut her out. I bet she's dead worried for you. I know my Tina was going crazy when this lockdown started. You remember how we couldn't even leave our cells?" </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yeah... good times." - he said but Peter didn't take the hint. God, he was exactly like Adam. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Anyway, when I first called her... it was so good to hear her voice. Why don't ya call your missus? Maybe hearing her voice would cheer you up, because mate, you look dead inside." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Maybe I am." - snapped Robert. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Okay, I'll leave you to it. Just... don't end up like Harvey." - he said on his way out. Oh yeah, Harvey. The crazy. He properly lost it after he refused to speak with his family. One day he was alright, the next day... he lost it. Nobody knew why.</p>
<p>Robert wanted to hear Aaron's voice... he craved it... so much! But he couldn't pick up the phone... could he? </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I didn't plan on posting this tonight, I didn't plan on writing it but it just happened really. Anyway, this is a new perspective because I don't think I showed Robert's side before. </p>
<p>enjoy it guys &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>secrets are about to come to light... but how will each of them cope with the situation?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Still no news?" - asked Cain when he saw Aaron's face. He came back from the scrapyard, pretended to do some work, but Cain knew better. He wasn't himself. Ever since that letter. He didn't want to force him to talk, but maybe it would help. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"No, and I don't wanna talk about it."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm not about to run to your mum." - told him Cain, trying to convince him to open up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I know." - sighed Aaron. - "It's just... I'm worried."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"That he won't answer?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"That he will." - he said quietly. Cain didn't understand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Him answering would be a good thing surely." - he said after a few seconds.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"What if he tells me to do it." - Cain didn't ask, he knew what Aaron was talking about.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Would you? ... Do it."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I don't know." - said Aaron but Cain felt like it was a definite no. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Okay, I think you need a night off. We're gonna get hammered." - he decided. - "I go and buy some beers because we're out of it. I'll be back in a few, you want anything else?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"No, ta." - he said watching Cain leave the house. He wanted to write another letter, but he didn't want to seem desperate even though Robert must know he was. The ringing of his phone startled him, shaking the thoughts out of his head. Unknown number. Strange. - "Hello." - he said waiting for that someone at the other end to say something, however, the line remained dead quiet. - "Who is it? I don't have time for jokes mate." - said Aaron already losing his temper. He was ready to hang up when a thought crossed his mind. It can't be.... can it? - "Robert?" - he called out. - "Is that you? Please say something."</p>
<p>....</p>
<p>"I just need to know it's you."</p>
<p>....</p>
<p>"I need to hear your voice."</p>
<p>.....</p>
<p>"SAY SOMETHING!" - he shouted at the end. He was way out of his depths.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, I can't." - he heard before the line went quiet. Nothing but the monotone beeping that broke the silence. It was him though. Aaron would recognize that voice anywhere. Robert called him. And no matter that he didn't say anything, he called him. Why? There must have been a reason. He didn't have many answers but he knew a few things. First of all that he won't tell anybody about this. Not Cain, not Liv, definitely not his mum. This must have meant something. He just needed to figure out what. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Still not sent that letter?" - asked Peter walking into Robert's cell. The guy walked around the whole place with such an ease, Robert envied him sometimes. Other times he thought he was a right idiot. And a bit annoying. </p>
<p>"I don't wanna talk about it."</p>
<p>"Mate, let me help." - he said genuinely, but Robert didn't think it would be a good idea to advertise his sexuality. He wasn't ashamed, he just didn't want to become a target. He was thinking about keeping his true identity to himself way too hard, and he didn't realize that Peter was sniffing around that drawer he piled all of Aaron's letters in. By the time he realized he shouldn't have put them there, one was already in Peter's hands. Robert saw him reading his letter, and his mind went blank. At first, he didn't even hear that Peter was talking to him, he just saw his lips moving.</p>
<p>"What?" - he asked to buy some time before the inevitable.</p>
<p>"I asked, ..... who is Aaron?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>for my anon, you know, to torture you with shit writing </p>
<p>ps.: comments like that only want me to write more... so cheers for that really </p>
<p>to the other lovely people: enjoy, and pls do comment!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Robert tells the truth about Aaron.</p>
<p>How will Peter react?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I asked.... who is Aaron?" - repeated Peter while he looked Robert in the eye. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Give it back." - he said jumping from his seat. - "That's private."- he shouted marching towards Peter. His defense mechanism activated.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Oi." - said Peter checking if anybody was outside lurking on the corridor. - "Shut it mate." - he shushed and it got Robert so surprised that he just did what he was told. He stopped walking and just stared at him, waiting. Waiting, and thinking about how to get out of this mess. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Give it back." - he said again, not shouting this time and Peter knew it was probably best if he does that because the look on Robert's face was painfully obvious. He'd more than punch him to get back what's his. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"So... you're gay." - he stated.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm not." - said Robert while he re-read the letter quickly. Not that he didn't remember every word. He knew all Aaron's letters by heart.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm pretty sure I've seen something about divorce papers... from a bloke." - scoffed Peter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>'How can you be this stupid'</em> thought Robert but he didn't dare say it out loud. Peter didn't seem shocked and Robert decided not to make things harder for himself. - "I'm bisexual if you must know." - he said finally. - "But please at least let me hide these before you call the others to kick the shit out of me." - he said with a bitter but sarcastic tone. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You kidding? If Bill finds out you won't leave the hospital wing. Maybe in a bodybag." - he said and Robert knew he wasn't even joking. Bill was a homophobe, everybody knew that, but it was still better to be on his team than not to be. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"So... you won't tell?" - he asked not quite believing him just yet. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"No, why would I? You love who you love. I really don't care." - he shrugged - "And I have a gay brother so... you know." - he added letting the sentence hang in the air, so Robert could draw any consequences he liked. When he didn't reply Peter checked the corridors again before he stepped closer. - "You know you really should put these in a better hiding place. Anybody could search your cell. What if Bill's crew find it?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yeah, I know. Believe me, I'll be careful in the future."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"So... you're married." - said Peter nodding at Robert. He obviously wanted more information. And since Robert had no one to talk to aside from him... he decided to give him a glimpse of what his life was like before he ended up here. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"For now.. yeah." - sighed Robert sitting back on his bed. - "But you read it, he'd sign the papers if I let him visit."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"And d'ya want that? Mate not to rain on your parade but you always seemed head over heels. Ever since you got in."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"What? No, I didn't." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Course you did." - laughed Peter. - "I reckoned you left a fit bird at home... and when the letters started coming and you said a few words about them... I thought I must have been right." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Well... I left <em>someone</em> at home." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Not a bird though." - smirked Peter. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"No." - smiled Robert - "Since you're here and obviously know... I guess I can show you this." - he said pulling a photograph from his poker. It was neatly folded in half. The photo Aaron sent him. Them with Seb. It always put a smile on Robert's face. Even when all he wanted to do was cry. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"That's your.... erm... your..."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Husband. Yeah." - he said helping him out. - "Aaron." - said Robert tasting the name on his tongue saying it out loud for the first time in months. Ever since he was here, he only thought about it, in his head, trying to keep it away from his mind. He thought that not saying it out loud would maybe help him with the pain. He was only kidding himself. Being able to articulate Aaron's name, it felt liberating. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"And who's the little lad?" </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Our son."  - he sighed remembering the last time he saw Seb. When he said goodbye in a hurry. He missed him more than words could describe.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Shit, really?" - smiled Peter observing it more. - "Cute kid." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Thanks. He's two now." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Does he know that you're..."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"No, he's living with his mum... I..."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"His mum? Wait what?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"It's a long story and no offense but I really don't wanna get into it now." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Okay." - he nodded giving the photo back to Robert. - "So what's the story? Wait let me guess. You told me already... half of it anyway." - he smirked. Robert rolled his eyes but didn't speak, he waited for him to explain his thoughts. -  "It's typical prison attitude. Most of the guys do it. Push people away I mean." - he said and it surprised Robert how... well... not daft he sounded. Not like the Peter he knew. - "He wants to stay beside you, help you through it, wants you to stay together... you wanna give 'im a fresh start by cutting him out." - he said and Robert raised his eyebrows. - "Sums it up, right?" </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm here for at least 14 years. I can't expect him to wait for me." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"But he wants to. He's willing to." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"That's not a life." - he mumbled. Peter decided not to say anything and Robert noticed. - "How come you went all therapist on me?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I was one." - he said simply. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Really?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Okay not officially, but I went to school and everything." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"But here... you're..."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yeah I know, I'm the class clown. It's better to make friends when you put a mask on. I'm sure you can relate." - he winked. It made Robert laugh. - "So... are you gonna write to him?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I should. It's been 3 weeks, he must be really worried." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"He can't come in now anyway. The rules are too strict. What harm would it do? I think he needs something to hold on to." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"But that wouldn't be fair on him."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Only if you take it back Robert. Only if you take it back." - he said smirking before he turned around to leave his cell. - "And please do hide those letters." - he called back from the door before he disappeared. Robert only heard his whistles as he walked down the corridor. A few seconds later he was completely alone with his thoughts... still felt helpless, but a bit relieved knowing that maybe he won't have to put that mask on when Peter was around. He still didn't trust him, but his reaction definitely surprised him. After he got over the excitement, the fact he had to respond to Aaron's letter became very obvious. He had no other choice but to sit down and start writing. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>there will be an actual letter in the next chapter I can promise that! </p>
<p>let me know how you liked this chapter!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Robert writes back... and Aaron tries to figure out how to feel about it</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Anything for me?" - asked Aaron overly enthusiastic when Cain came back with the post in his hands. Liv was having her breakfast at the kitchen and shot a weird look at her brother over her toast. However, Aaron only concentrated on Cain who was currently busy flicking through the bills. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Nope. Just bills." - he said with ease. Liv could see the disappointed look on Aaron's face though. It was well weird. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You expect a letter or something?" - she asked laughing. Her brother... with a letter... a proper handwritten letter? It seemed so funny. He wasn't the type!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"No." - he scoffed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Then why are you so bothered?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm not." - he hissed standing up to do the washing up. - "You want pizza for lunch?" - he asked to change the subject.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yeah sounds good, only if we order it because last time you burned it, and I don't fancy that again." - she grimaced  - "Or I can always ask Chas to get me something... for the amount of babysitting I do for her it's the least she could do, and you can have your homemade pizza." - she grinned as she grabbed her coffee to go back upstairs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Next time you can cook your own dinner!" - shouted Aaron after her. Sometimes he wished schools would open again so he won't have to deal with his sister meddling. He also knew he should be more relaxed because Liv must have noticed how jumpy he gets when they get mail. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Oi, here." - said Cain chucking at him an envelope. It had the prison stamp on it. Robert wrote back. - "I guess you wanna read that now." - he said looking at him until their eyes met before he left Aaron alone. He was so nervous to read this letter. He's been waiting for more than 3 weeks. He thought Robert wouldn't write... not after all this time. Part of him was afraid to open it, but the urge to just KNOW was stronger. After taking a deep breath he ripped it open, and with shaking hands he began to read.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Aaron!</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Sorry, it took me this long to post this. It wasn't easy to write it. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I stared at your last letter for days before I could even think about what to do with it. You know what I want for you. I know you do. But I also know that it's you, and you won't give up without an answer. Without a chance to talk it through, in person. So, as soon as the restrictions are lifted, I'm gonna send you a visiting order.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>But I won't write until then. I just... don't know what to say.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I don't know how long we have to wait, but you'll get what you want, and in exchange, so will I. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Bring the papers when you visit. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Robert</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Aaron read it, then read it again... and again just to be sure. He got what he wanted. Robert answered. He got what he wanted, Robert will let him visit. </p>
<p>He got what he wanted but he wasn't happy. Because now he had to convince Robert face to face that what they had... what they still have is worth fighting for. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He just didn't know how he'd do that. He only knew one thing. It's his last chance. Their last chance. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's been a month since Robert's letter and the visiting ban is still up.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aaron tried to stay calm but he knew it was useless. He knew he shouldn't have been online reading all sorts... but he couldn't stop himself. He didn't respond to Robert's letter, but he was still waiting for him to send him a visiting order.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He checked the prison's website daily, seeing if there's any news. He googled COVID-19 to see if there were more cases, especially in prisons. They never talked about it with Robert. After their first letters, it wasn't mentioned and he assumed everything was fine. But why should Robert tell him anything? If he was anything like Aaron thought he would be... he wouldn't tell him if he was in danger... if god forbid he was infected. He couldn't help but worry. There were nights he could barely sleep. He was only tossing and turning, without any actual resting, and it has been going on for the past month. He felt exhausted. He felt useless. He was afraid that something has happened. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He knew he shouldn't have, but he called the prison, trying to get information. Obviously he got nothing, but at least the woman on the other end of the line was friendly. It felt like she was really trying to help. Aaron appreciated it, even though he knew she couldn't do a damn thing. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"He called again." - heard Robert a female voice from outside his cell. It was Stella, one of the guards. The men loved seeing her around, it was a fact. She was attractive, and Robert could see the appeal although he had zero interest in any of it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You what?" - he asked raising his head from his bed. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Aaron, that's his name, right? He called again, asking about you." - when Robert didn't answer she continued - "You should call him."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I can't." - whispered Robert, but it was loud enough so she could hear. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Why not? He's obviously worried about you." - she said trying to change Robert's mind. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You read my file, right? You know who he is." - he told her in a stone-cold voice. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I know, yes." - she said nodding. Even if they didn't see each other face to face, Robert knew she was waiting for more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"What am I supposed to tell him? That I'm having the time of m life?" - he asked sarcastically.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"No, but you should let him know that you're okay."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"He knows."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Does he?" - she asked back challenging Robert. - "Because he calls far too many times for someone who's being sure of something."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I just... I can't talk to him."  - admitted Robert. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Why?" - asked Stella. Robert always liked her. She was nice to him, from day one. Every inmate liked her, and she always had a nice word for everyone. Even for the worst of people. Robert knew that as a guard she had access to his files and probably knew everything about his situation, but she was still here, trying to help. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"It hurts too much." - answered Robert honestly.  - "If I would hear his voice... I couldn't stop myself." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"And you need to stop yourself?" - she asked. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"In a place like this? Yeah, I have to." - he laughed bitterly. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Robert, he's obviously worried about you. I spoke to him when I was on duty." - she said but she knew she won't get a response out of him. She knew Robert for a couple of months now, and she was sure that he wouldn't give her any response. - "Would you allow me to call him?" - she asked finally </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Why?" - asked back Robert immediately. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"To let him know that you are fine?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Why are you helping me? You know what I'm here for don't ya?" - he asked her walking up to his cell door to see the little bolt being opened up. If he would look through it he'd probably see her starring right back. But he didn't go that far. He just stood before the closed door. Waiting for her answer. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I do, yeah. I'm not gonna pretend that I didn't read your file, Robert. I just... I don't know. He just sounded really worried and I just wanna help... in any way I can. I know these times are extremely hard. I just don't want it to be harder for you.... or him."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Aaron." - Robert said. He couldn't help himself, he had to say his name. And although she couldn't see Stella was sure he said it with a soft smile on his face. She didn't know why but she always pictured Robert to say Aaron's name with a smile on his face. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"So... can I?" </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You really wanna call him?" - asked Robert to be sure. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yeah... if you say I can."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"And what would you say?" </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"That you're fine, that it's a very difficult time, but you're doing okay. That you're healthy." - she said and she heard Robert chuckle on the other side of the door. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Alright." - he sighed finally. - "Tell him that I'm sorry that I haven't called." - he told her although he was sure Aaron'd know that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Will you allow him to visit? You know if the rules will be lifted." - she asked. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I said I would. We have unfinished business." - he said in a certain tone. She knew better than to pry. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Okay, I'm gonna call him tomorrow, since my shift ended 10 minutes ago." - she said, and Robert could only guess that she was looking at her watch. For a moment Stella thought Robert wouldn't say anything, but just as she was ready to walk away, she heard him talking. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Thank you, Stella." - it was quiet, but he said it, and she heard it. She didn't know why it was important to her to help him, but Aaron's calls played a big part in it. He seemed so desperate, so helpless, that Stella set her mind to help him, in any way she can. She hoped this news from Robert... about Robert would bring a little relief. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>well, I didn't see this happening, but I wrote it, so there it is. I hope you're gonna like it. Please let me know.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The lockdown ep gave me the idea, it's something new I've never done before, in style I mean. At least I think I didn't do it before. Anyway, I hope you're gonna enjoy it. Let me know!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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